Sunday, March 16, 2008

Political Correct

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America , Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as
"HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore ....

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."


2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."


5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY
IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."


10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."


11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12 She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER." Love this oneā€¦

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND
BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER"
- He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."


4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."


5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6.. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8 He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."


10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."


11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE "


Please use your best judgment when referring to these people, so as to make it more comfortable for the rest of us.

Labels:

6 Comments:

Blogger Sandi said...

Those are funny! I'll have to send your link to some of my friends who will appreaciate this.

March 17, 2008 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Nydia said...

Loved these "explanations", Patty, I laughed so much I had to share it with my friends. We had a similar list here in Brazil, I always have fun with it. Take care!
Kisses fro Nydia.

March 18, 2008 at 9:33 AM  
Blogger *~*Cece*~* said...

Those were funny!

March 18, 2008 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger Neva said...

What a cute post...being a displaced West Virginian I am not sure I like the Appalachian-American moniker....politically correct or not!

March 19, 2008 at 12:48 AM  
Blogger Deslilas said...

Good lesson, I'll try to remember in each situation.

March 19, 2008 at 12:39 PM  
Blogger Dragonstar said...

Love-it-love-it-love-it!!!

March 19, 2008 at 6:16 PM  

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