Girls

One day when I wasn't looking I raised a GIRL, not just a female, but a girly girl. You know the kind that jumps up on a chair when they see a bug kind of girl. My daughter has turned into one of those! I'm not quite sure when it all started. I mean I tried to raise her right. We played in the dirt and the mud, and ate with dirty hands. Her brother teased her with worms and frogs, and the dog licked her face. She was fine. Then all of the sudden a couple of years ago she turned into a GIRL!. Now if she sees a bug she comes completely unglued. I first noticed it last summer when we were living in the townhouse at the beach. We had a huge tree out front so we hung a bird feeder in it. We had squirrels and birds, so we kept a variety of seeds including some that had fruit in it. This seemed to attract bugs. Great big huge palomino bugs. You know the kind that you could feed a small dog too. At night they would crawl near the door. She would see one and scream. I use to laugh, and forgot about them once winter came and we moved. Well tonight I had just got home from work, and sat down to eat when the phone rang. It was her screeching at the top of her voice. Mom please come over here quick and kill this bug. Puzzled I told her to get a shoe and kill it. NOOOOOOO mom you don't understand this is a huge bug, it flew at me and I am hiding in the bathroom. YOU HAVE TO COME! Ok call me a sucker, and off I go to save her. I went in to find her in her robe jumping up and down nervous as a cat telling me KILL IT. I had to find it, so I starting looking around. I moved a box of her make up that she keeps in the bathroom and out ran a huge bug. Before I could smack it with a shoe it ran under the cabinet. The daughter is hiding outside the door while I pull out the cabinet drawers. I peek under the bottom one only to see what looks like a dead mouse. EWWWW she screams. Go get a flashlight I say. I shined it under the drawer and to our relief the "mouse" turns out to be a big dust bunny. The bug in the meantime crawled out and into the drawers sitting on the floor. EWWWWW she screams again. It is in my tampons mom. Ohhhh I have to put those in my vagina. By now I am laughing so hard I almost peed myself. I finally find the bug. I pick up my sandal. SMACK, problem solved. Sheesh...Girls! I laughed and left, wondering to myself what is she going to do the first time her son brings home a worm.