Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Warning Ranting

Ok I am going to warn you that this post is going to be about nothing but ranting, so if those kind of post offend please move on now.

I am so frustrated I just want to throw things and the target is my daughters boyfriends mother. See it is like this..She buys my daughter and my grandson. She is one of those people that uses things to buy her way into someones life. Frankly she makes me sick and I am so afraid that one of these days I am going to be in the wrong mood and she is going to be around and I am going to lay into her.
Ok, let me take a deep breath and back up a little.
This started about time my daughter moved in with her son. She would drop by there bring some little snacks or bake a cake that type of thing. Ok that was nice, I can't really complain about that. But then she started bringing her little things like Yankee candles and toys for my grandson. Still not to horrible, but I started noticing how my daughter seemed to be really eating up the attention. It was suddenly Phyllis this and Phyllis that. I started seeing this little green envy bug flying around my head because I can't do extra things like that for my daughter.
Next came last Christmas. It was my daughter's first Christmas away from home
She wanted to have her dad and his lady friend and my husband and I over to see the grandson open his gifts from Santa. She told Phyllis that maybe they could come by LATER in the morning if they wanted. Well, before we even got dressed and ready to go over on Christmas morning my phone rang, it was my daughter calling to tell me that Phyllis and her husband had called to let her know that they were on the way to her house. I walked in and there they were. I was so mad that I couldn't even see straight. I didn't even say hello for about 10 minutes. I really had to compose myself first. I was so taken back at how rude they were to interferer. (You have remember this is NOT her grandchild)
Ok we made it through the day but as the year has progressed she has taken more of an active role in my grandson's life. She is all the time buying this or buying that. My daughter loves the attention (who wouldn't) and the longer it goes on the more I feel inadequate for not having the money to lavish him with gifts every time I visit. It hurts me to think I can't do for my daughter and grand son and have to stand by and watch someone do for them.
Ok so now it brings us to this year. So far...she has brought TWELVE PACKAGES for my grandson..TWELVE! and these are just "extra" to put under the tree..This is not even his presents from her. In fact it is so bad that my daughter is actually taking back some of the toys that she had planned on giving him from Santa because he has to much. I'm thinking hey bitch, do you not think other people might want to buy something for the kid..
Seriously it burns me up. I can't afford TWELVE friggin packages for him.
My daughter knows I am upset. She is upset, and called me tonight and said she doesn't even want to have everyone over this year because she is so worried about everyone being on edge with each other.
See it is already tense between my ex's lady friend and myself, and my ex and my husband, and now we add her to the package, plus my daughters boyfriend is a prick and he knows I think he is a prick so Christmas morning is really going to suck.
I finally just told my daughter to just have Santa by herself and not have any of us over that I would come by later in the day. But I added that I better not find out that his mom showed up if I wasn't going to be invited to be there.
I hate this f$cking holiday
I know it sounds like a good old fashioned case of jealousy here, but it isn't that I am jealous. I am hurt and I feel sad that I can not "buy" my way into my daughter and my grandson's life. I am not financially able to lavish her with material things.
This woman on the other hand can and does. She over reacts to my grandson and to be honest she frightens me. I am really concerned about what will happen if my daughter and her son should have a child together. She is one of those nut case type of people that if she takes this much attention on my grandson you can only imagine what she would be like with a biological one of her own. I am concerned that if they have a child and were to break up that this woman would be the kind to try and file for custody and finance her son to file for custody. I pray everyday that my daughter does not get pregnant and that she finds someone else. This young man she is with does not give her the stability she needs emotionally. They have been living together over a year now and he still works two part time jobs instead of getting a "real" job. He has very little to do with the family and they very rarely go anywhere or do anything together. I know deep in my heart that she has settled for him because he has the house and she wants her own home.
He does pay the rent for them but other than that they pretty much live separate lives.
He comes from a family where the dad was violent and the boys are not close to him now. He (her boyfriend) does not know how to show love and I can see why, it seems that "things" are given in that family instead of love.
Anyway sorry for the long rant, but I just had to complain to someone

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Anonymous best casinos online said...

Hello Mommy Patty! letting out your emotions is just okay. We'll just pray that everything will be all well - with your daughter and his boyfriend. Happy Holidays!

December 18, 2008 at 3:18 AM  
Blogger Bonnie said...

If you don't have a blog to rant on, where would you?

While reading the whole post in my mind was what you said near the end ... "things" are given in that family instead of love. It happens in my family, but they try to disguise togetherness with gift giving. It took me a while to come to that realization and have the balls to say so.

That was the most difficult thing to do and the best decision I ever made. This holiday season I will be visiting shut-ins and there will be no gift giving. Some of my family is not happy with that. I am.

December 18, 2008 at 7:47 AM  
Blogger Carrie said...

Oh Patty, I'm sorry that this hurts you but let me give you my perspective.

I grew up extremely poor and sometimes we didn't have heat or lights or adequate food. When Adam and I got together, his mom took me under her wing. She took me shopping. Taught me about makeup. Taught me about life. Stuff that my own mom didn't know about. Yes, my mom was a little jealous at first but she began to like the idea that *I* had someone that loved me too and wanted to give me the things that she couldn't. I think that my mom is really happy that I get along so well with his mom because she had such an awful relationship with my dad's mom. We are all tight now. Actually my mom lives next door to me. She rents a little apartment from Adam's mom. I know that not everything is the same but just be happy. You know and like my mom knows, you are her mother and his grandmother and nothing will ever change that bond.

love ya!

December 18, 2008 at 9:13 PM  

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