Monday, February 23, 2009

Chasing the green eyed monster

Why is it that we spend all of our time when our children are young trying to get them to be independent then when they become adults and are independent we miss them being children?

Take my daughter for example. Deep down I am really happy that she has her own home and a boyfriend to share it with, but there is still this part of me that wants her to move back home.  I miss her being the little girl and me being the “mom”.

I still have some reservations about this guy she lives with, and personally I would live with him about five minutes then I would kill him, chop him up into little pieces and place him in zip lock bags in the freezer to feed my dog (Now you all do know I am only kidding here…Please don’t call my local police and report me…I really would never do anything like this….We are talking fantasy land)

Anyway they have been together a couple of years now and are growing closer (as it should be) as time has gone by. My grandson thinks of him as dad, and as he (my grandson) gets older wants to spend more time with “daddy”. “Daddy” is not working as many evenings now so he is home more on the nights my daughter is at work on her second job. This means my grandson is not coming over for me to watch and I am finding this little green eyed monster creeping into my thoughts. The truth of the matter is I am jealous.

Cody is my baby. He has always been my baby, but I don’t get to see him as often as I use to and I miss him.  When he was an infant I kept him seven days a week, then it went to about four days and now it is two, and sometimes one. I know I should be grateful that I spend any time at all with him. So many grandparents live long distances from the grandkids and rarely see them. In fact I have yet to see my own grand daughter. She is almost six and is in California. Her mom rarely contacts me and my son has not seen her now in a couple of years.

Speaking of the son, he is in Washington state.  His job has taken him there and he has already told me that he probably won’t come back for about six months. If I am lucky he will call me once a month. He has always been the  most independent of my children.

Maybe it is the empty nest syndrome I am feeling, maybe it is the green eye monster. Maybe I am just over tired, but I want my kids to be babies again.

Sigh!

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2 Comments:

Blogger Betsy from Tennessee said...

Patty, My best friend cannot turn loose of her adult kids and grandkids. Her ENTIRE life is the kids/grands. I keep telling her to leave them alone and let them live their own lives. AND 'she' needs to find friends of her own and not depend on her kids... She can't turn loose though--and she's made her adult kids depend on her to bail them out of all kinds of stuff.. They (adult kids) can't or won't grow up--and she won't let them...

I don't know your situation --but it sounds like your daughter is trying to make a good life for herself and her son. That's a good thing, Patty...

Hugs,
Betsy

February 23, 2009 at 11:47 PM  
Blogger hippymummy said...

Although i'm not yet a grandmother i can kind of relate to what you're feeling. My eldest son came back to live with me last summer after having lived back in our hometown for 4 years (he's 21) and i was thrilled. He had to move up here with me as he'd split up with his partner and was homeless basically. He stayed with me till xmas but when i travelled down there at new year he stayed down there at my sisters house and i haven't seen - or heard - from him since. He didn't evenget in touch for little Miss's birthday. I keep on telling myself that he's a man and can lead his own lifebut it still hurts when i think about it. Luckily for me i still have my other 5 kids here, my eldest daughter is married but onlt lives 5 houses away from me so i'm truly blessed aren't i. The thing is people say things along the lines of "How can you miss one when you've 5 other kids, son-in-law plus the 2 fur family members to keep you busy?" what they don't understand is that you can have 27 other kids but that won't stop you missing the one who's not there? sorry i waffled on a bit there, oddly enough just before i turned the computer i had just had a little think about Lee and voila! now i know why! Hope you get to spend some quality time with your grandson soon xXx

February 24, 2009 at 5:00 AM  

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