Chasing the green eyed monster
Why is it that we spend all of our time when our children are young trying to get them to be independent then when they become adults and are independent we miss them being children?
Take my daughter for example. Deep down I am really happy that she has her own home and a boyfriend to share it with, but there is still this part of me that wants her to move back home. I miss her being the little girl and me being the “mom”.
I still have some reservations about this guy she lives with, and personally I would live with him about five minutes then I would kill him, chop him up into little pieces and place him in zip lock bags in the freezer to feed my dog (Now you all do know I am only kidding here…Please don’t call my local police and report me…I really would never do anything like this….We are talking fantasy land)
Anyway they have been together a couple of years now and are growing closer (as it should be) as time has gone by. My grandson thinks of him as dad, and as he (my grandson) gets older wants to spend more time with “daddy”. “Daddy” is not working as many evenings now so he is home more on the nights my daughter is at work on her second job. This means my grandson is not coming over for me to watch and I am finding this little green eyed monster creeping into my thoughts. The truth of the matter is I am jealous.
Cody is my baby. He has always been my baby, but I don’t get to see him as often as I use to and I miss him. When he was an infant I kept him seven days a week, then it went to about four days and now it is two, and sometimes one. I know I should be grateful that I spend any time at all with him. So many grandparents live long distances from the grandkids and rarely see them. In fact I have yet to see my own grand daughter. She is almost six and is in California. Her mom rarely contacts me and my son has not seen her now in a couple of years.
Speaking of the son, he is in Washington state. His job has taken him there and he has already told me that he probably won’t come back for about six months. If I am lucky he will call me once a month. He has always been the most independent of my children.
Maybe it is the empty nest syndrome I am feeling, maybe it is the green eye monster. Maybe I am just over tired, but I want my kids to be babies again.