Sunday, November 30, 2008

Something to Ponder

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) the bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you
can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and
get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an
end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher’s praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people
recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by
ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a
language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going
on.

People and not computers invented English, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.


That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

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2 Comments:

Blogger peppylady said...

That was fun. How about this one.

"She went to the ball and had a ball"

How about one mouse and two meese, no it should be mice.

Enough fun with the English grammar.

Coffee is on.

November 30, 2008 at 10:02 PM  
Blogger PEA said...

It's no wonder most of us walk around looking completely confused! lol Way too many different meanings for the same words!! xoxo

December 1, 2008 at 11:21 AM  

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