Memories

About a year ago I started writing a blog. In it I talked about my life starting from my earliest memories, I ended it upon leaving my husband of almost 25 years. I did it mostly for me, to help sort out feelings and face some ghost from my past. I had been doing the blog for several months when I felt like it was time to share the url with my ex husband. What I didn't know was by doing that I would open myself up to criticizing by friends of his who had never met me, knew nothing about me except what they had been told and took it upon themselves to judge me. In a moment of anger I deleted that blog. I have always been sorry. I think I should have finished it for a lot of reasons. One to show people that one can change. That we do learn and grow and become one with our-self. Mostly I think I needed to do it for me. I needed to remind myself that I am special. That everything that happens in a marriage and a divorce are not always one sided or one spouse fault. I needed to do it to build my strength to move forward in life, and to forgive not only others but myself.

Tonight I found a file that had most of the drafts from the blog saved. I am thinking of republishing some if not all of it here. If I do this time I will not allow comments, or at lest moderate them. I will not stop writing due to narrow minded people who only want to believe what they have been told or who want to see things from one side. I will not only publish what I had written before I will add to it. I will take away the sugar coating and I will continue where I left off..I am going to think about it and see how I feel about the idea of all this in a few days..

In the mean time, please keep my ex in your thoughts and prayers, he went back to the Dr. yesterday and they told him that since he had the heart attack and surgery the first week of July that he has had another heart attack. This time it has left heart damage. He is feeling depressed and scared right now...So are we all...

Life goes on