Friday, May 5, 2006

Venting

I need to vent, so here goes. Today has not been a good day. Matter of fact almost everything about this day has SUCKED.
My daughter took her son's dad to court today for custody and child support.
My grandson is going to be a year old in a few weeks and his dad is dead beat dad. He has not paid one penny in child support to her since last Dec. I say good riddance to bad rubbish myself. If the guy fell off the face of the earth tomorrow I would dance for joy. He is a jerk, he is on drugs, doesn't work a real job, has no car, and lives in a trailer with his parents. This kid is 22 years old. Like I said rubbish. Anyway him and my daughter tried for awhile to work things out and couldn't so she took him to court. She was asking for custody, offering visitation, and seeking child support. Something that shouldn't have been a problem for any normal person, but I should have known better, there is nothing normal about this family. From day one they have given my daughter hell. The other grandma is nuts, seriously she has some real issues, she takes a bath in her underwear. She claims she does it so that the water and soap won't get into her vagina and give her an infection. All righty I say..Weird lady. Anyway from the very beginning she has obsessed about the grandson. She has threatened on more than one occasion to kidnap him. She is on drugs, sleeps half the time and I wouldn't trust her to baby sit my kitten much less the baby. Grandpa is no better. He stays drunk, he is known for passing out on the porch, and Daddy himself is on meth. Of course we can prove none of this. So off to court we go. My daughter was told that nothing would be decided today, that today was the day they would set things up, assign a mediator, get home studies assigned and so on. Well, when we got there not only did none of that happen, the judge ordered a temporary custody, visitation, and child support order. My daughter was granted temporary custody (daddy wouldn't agree to custody claiming he doesn't want her to have it.) For what ever reason he has delusions and is thinking he will take his son and raise him (this man has never even changed a poopy diaper, has no idea what the baby eats, when he sleeps or what any of his needs or habits are) He can't take care of himself. Why in the hell would he think he can raise a baby.
Any this idiot judge gives him visitation without first making him take a parenting class. For the next three Saturdays in a row from 9 am until 6 pm he is allowed to have his son. Ok not to bad, we can live with that, but then to top it off the judge said starting in June he can have the baby over nights every other weekend. I am NOT happy, my daughter is not happy. I really had to bite my tongue, I knew if I opened my mouth I would be spending tonight in jail, but let me tell you I wanted to ask the judge if she was on some of that meth that daddy sells and uses. What an idiot.
Anyway that is settled and she moves on to the child support issues. Under Virginia Law, each parent pays a certain amount. Child care must be added into that.
with what my daughter and dead beat make he is suppose to pay her 438.00 a month. But because his "momma" offered to keep the baby for free the judge felt sorry for him and said my daughter doesn't have to accept the offer but since it was made that dead beat shouldn't have to pay the full amount of child support so she cut it down to 200 a month.
So my daughter just got screwed. She works TWO DAMN JOBS!! to keep her head above water. She pays 8 hundred a month for child care alone, plus rent, utilities etc etc. This little baby of a man lives with mommy, and he gets a break. What the fuck is wrong with this picture. He also was told that he can have a five day grace period to pay the support since he was just given the order today. My daughter was pissed. I reminded her that no amount of money is worth not having her child with her. I know that first hand. When her dad and I first seperated I signed an agreement forfiting his military retirement. I did it under duress, because he told me if I did not sign it that he would take my daughter away from me because I was living with someone else (now my husband). In this state he would have won, because it is against the law to live with someone you are not married to if you have a minor child in the house. I gave up close to a thousand a month because we were married 25 years, but you know what I don't care. My daughter was and is more important. I have struggled financially for the last eight years and I wouldn't trade a minute of it if it meant that I would not have legal rights to my daughter.
Anyway I am getting off subject here but like I said I am venting.

As far as my grandson goes:
We think they paid off the judge to slide things in there favor. They have been known to do things like that before. When dead beat was on probation (for drugs) last year, they bragged about how they paid there lawyer to pay off the judge to get him off. Of course we have no proof, but I know its true.
To top it off the family told the judge that they don't want my daughter on there property, because "she" causes problems. The last time my daughter went over there the psycho mom threw a coffee cup at her. That's ok, my daughter got the upper hand on that one. Dead beat has to come to her to pick the baby up. Serves him right. She can lounge in her pj's while he has to get up early.
Anyway for now all we can do is bite the bullet and let them see the baby. All I can do is hope and pray that they watch the baby and he comes home safely. They go back to court in September. This time we will hire a lawyer.
Now before I get nasty comments telling me how daddies have rights let me tell everyone that I have a son, him and his wife are separated and I have a grand daughter I have never seen. She is almost three. I have never once thrown a coffee cup at my daugther in law, or threathen to kidnap my grand daughter. Matter of fact, I have never taken a bath in my underware. My son pays child support every week, and has had no contact with his wife in about 6 months. She won't talk to him or us and my heart is broken, but I know it is not my fight so I stay out of it. I do understand that the other set of grandparents want to be part of our grandson's life. I really wouldn't mind it and my daughter wouldn't mind it if they would act right and not be so low life white trash redneck jerks. I also know the heart break of not seeing a child. My ex husband had a son he never knew or raised. My children had a brother they never knew. It was heart break when he did find us. We only had about 6 weeks together when the young man was killed in a car accident. It is a long involved story that I may blog about someday.
Anyway point here is I am not venting to be a bitch towards this family. I honesly have concerns for my grandsons safety. This family is not "normal" Everyone please keep the baby (and us) in your thoughts, and prayers.
Thanks
Autumn
P.S.
I really hate men, I can see why so many women become lesbians after being with a man.

Labels: ,

4 Comments:

Blogger Granny said...

Obviously you need a lawyer. We had much the same thing happen in our family (much too long to explain in comment box) but it was awful and still is.

It's the old boys' network still going on. I'm so sorry. I don't even know if you can afford a lawyer and it's hard to find one that will take a family case. There are some support groups around that help women but I don't know anything about VA.

I'm sorry.

May 5, 2006 at 11:19 PM  
Blogger Nancy said...

First off you have to be honest with the judge and voice your concerns even if you don't have proof. Ask for SUPERVISED visits, bring up his past records. Keep track of times and inspect the baby head to toe before he leaves, take pictures with dates and when he comes back, inspect him and take pictures of any bruises. Think defense. Good luck.

May 6, 2006 at 10:46 AM  
Blogger peppylady said...

I could also go on about dead beat dad also. Maybe someday I'll blogg about it.
Sometime I even wonder were the girl who have babies by these men.
A quick examples.
I know one his life goal is to get stoned on pot. Every so often she even gives him a piece of ass.
I know anther one who few times a year gets a four closer on his property and she bails him out.
Well I'm sorry to hear to about your daughter. Other then calling a lawyer. Call your state health and welfare office and turn him in.
People needs to be responsible for their action and doing.

May 6, 2006 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger peppylady said...

I could also go on about dead beat dad also. Maybe someday I'll blogg about it.
Sometime I even wonder were the girl who have babies by these men.
A quick examples.
I know one his life goal is to get stoned on pot. Every so often she even gives him a piece of ass.
I know anther one who few times a year gets a four closer on his property and she bails him out.
Well I'm sorry to hear to about your daughter. Other then calling a lawyer. Call your state health and welfare office and turn him in.
People needs to be responsible for their action and doing.

May 6, 2006 at 11:10 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home