Sunday, June 18, 2006

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

This was the weekend that my grandson went to his dads. I am still not happy with that idea and suppose I never will be. The baby does not know these people, and is not happy there. Yes I know they have rights, and yes he is the dad, but he only wants to be the dad on his terms. He never calls on comes to see his son EVER except to pick him up every other Saturday morning and returns him on Sunday night. This does not give the baby a chance to adjust to him. I worry about him when he is there, so I wanted to make sure my daughter called to check on him. I walked down to my daughters about 9 last evening to remind her to call and found out that she had offered to baby sit for a friend of hers. They work at the same bar, and have known each other for a few months now. Her friend was told if she didn’t come to work that night that they would fire her. She called my daughter crying because she had no one to watch her baby. The lady that had been keeping her had plans and couldn’t keep her. My daughter was off last night and felt sorry for her so she told her to bring her over. Her friend is a single mom too and only 19. Her baby is 15 months old and just found out that she is pregnant again. She is dancing to make ends meet. From what I learned, She has been on her own on and off since she was 14 when her mom kicked her out choosing a man and drugs over her. She went into foster care and had just recently got back in touch with her mom. For whatever reason they had a fight, and her mom kicked her out and now the girl has nowhere to live again. What kind of mother can turn her back on her child and grandchild is so low in my book that I cannot think of a word bad enough to call her. Anyway this girl’s former foster mom has taken her in for a few weeks but she has already told her she can’t stay there. The father of her little girl has deserted her completely, moving out of the area, and the boyfriend who has father the one she is expecting now has fled too. I didn’t get the entire story, but what I did learn seems pretty sad. She is thinking of getting an abortion, and toying with the idea of giving the 15 month old up for adoption. She feels like she can’t offer her the life she needs. I think she is just running scared. My daughter said the friend feels like she has nowhere to turn and no one to help her. I told my daughter to encourage her to go to social services, or a local shelter. There has to be someone who can help her. I told her to even tell her to go to a church. Now I am not a church person, but I do know that most of them at lest have phone numbers or some kind of resource for people who need help. My daughter let her friend stay over last night when she got off work. There was no need to wake the little girl up in the middle of the night to go home. Anyway I feel bad for the baby, and the friend. I hope she can get her life straightened out. A part of me wants to help her, but I have my hands full with my own daughter and grandson so all I can offer her is an ear to listen and a bit of motherly advice if she ask for it. I did have my daughter call about my own grandson while I was there and left to come home upset because his dad said he had cried almost all day and did not take a nap and would not go to bed for them and was still crying and awake at 9 last night. We told him if the baby would not settle down for them to bring him home and he could come back and get him this morning. I knew in my heart thought that they wouldn’t. There pride would not let them send him back. The hell with my grandson’s feelings. It is “there weekend” I came home feeling a bit blue. To top it off my husband is sick with a cold so he was no company for me at all last night. I went to bed early saying F** it. The phone woke me this morning before 9 and it was my grandson’s dad calling. He couldn’t get an answer at my daughter house ( we found out later that her phone was not working..It seems a new neighbor had tapped into her line to get free phone service, anyway more about that later)The dad was calling to tell me that the baby needed to come home that he was not doing well at all and was very very sick. That he was coughing and his nose was running and he was crying. I told him I would be right there to get him. I couldn’t get my daughter on the phone either so I called her dad to go wake her (There are advantages to having him live next door to her). I got his machine, and I stared cussing. Where the F was everyone so early. I jumped into my clothes and was at her door in less than 2 minutes. I ran into the ex coming out his door as I was going in hers. Her friend was sitting in the living room playing with her little girl and my daughter was asleep. Both of them said the phone never rang. I told her to get dressed that her dad and I would go get the baby, and that we would take him to the ER when we got back. It only took a couple of minutes to get the there house and when we arrived we found our grandson to be perfectly fine. No fever, no tears and just a little cough and runny nose. He was so happy to see us; I knew right away that the only thing wrong with him was he just wanted to come home. I suspect he was having separation anxiety and was just over tired. They probably didn’t know how to handle him or what to do for him to settle him down. Or maybe his dad just wanted to go somewhere today and thought he would give the baby back early who knows. I am just glad they did. I took him to his momma and we fed him and I brought him home with me for a nap since my daughter’s friend and baby were still there. When he woke up I took him back down to his mom. I had planned to do laundry early this morning then go see my mom, and visit my dad’s grave, but my day got thrown completely off schedule and I didn’t go. I volunteered to do my daughter’s laundry today too and she offered to pay for mine since I was doing everyone’s. I don’t know how we get so many dirty clothes. Between hers and ours I had FIVE dryers full. It took me forever to fold everything. Usually my husband or her help but today my husband is sick with a cold and didn’t feel like going. I could spend another five minutes bitching about him and how helpless he is when he is sick but I won’t since this post has already turned into a 20-page novel. Anyway I got it folded and home and it is all sitting in the middle of my living room floor in clothes baskets where it can sit and rot for all I care. I am just in one of those moods. I will continue this rant tomorrow. I'm going to bed.

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